Embarrassment of Love
by SoKawaii325
Summary: Lavi has something he wants to tell Allen. Will he be able to do it? Or will he chicken out and live life as if he never felt what he does? Allen!Seme - Rated M for sexual content and mild language
1. Chapter 1: Fantasy and Idiocy

**A/N ~ Hello my lovely darlings~! This is my first fanfic, so some criticism would be nice. I am open to any suggestions on how to improve~!**

**DISCLAIMER ~ All content goes to their respectful owners. I do not own what is not mine, and I do not take credit for anything except this story.**

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Embarrassment of Love

(Chapter 1)

Sweat slicked the small, lithe, yet muscular body as the white-haired teen concentrated soley on what he was doing. "397.. 398.." He didn't notice his best red-haired friend enter the room. Lavi had wanted to speak with Allen for a few days, and finally grew the balls to do it. (After one sleepless night, and many occasions when Lenalee had almost killed him with her Dark Boots for thinking he intentionally spaced out because she was boring or annoying him.) Before he even got to utter a single word, all he could do was stare. "399.. 400!" Allen grunted before finally noticing Lavi, (Who was trying to calm his racing heart) and fell off the chair, landing directly on his backside. "Ouch!" He winced slightly before standing and fuming at the older of the two. "Damn it, Lavi! Knock next time!" "S-Sorry... I didn't think you were busy. You weren't in the cafeteria, or the training room with Yuu-chan, so I'd figured you'd still be asleep~!" Allen smiled a bit, not being able to stay mad at Lavi. "It's okay. Did you need something?" Lavi, in the end, chickened out. He tried to act calm, and turned in an attempt to hide his slight blush from the still shirtless and sweaty Allen. "U-Uhm.. Komui wanted me to tell you that everyone is getting a week off from our missions..." Lavi mentally slapped himself across the face. It WAS true, but he had barely listened when he was being told himself, (As he was too busy thinking and trying not to be as nervous as he was.) not to mention he felt constricted, not being brave enough to tell Allen how he felt. He had killed many Akuma, and even saw the supposed 'death' of his best friend, and current crush. That was also added to the fact that he would be punished by the old panda if he ever found out, because being a Bookman Junior didn't allow him to involve himself in relationships, or even hold feelings for others. He was a neutral party. Apart from everyone else. A bystander in a war that was not his own, simply recording every tiny, and minute detail. Yet, he couldn't tell Allen how he felt, aside from those facts.

Allen had been Lavi's only reason for waking up in the mornings for some time now, (As corny as it sounded) and much to his chagrin, his only reason and thoughts for pleasuring himself at night. "Really? That's great! I'll have to train extra hard with so much time for myself now!" He laughed to himself, giving a determined fist pump and trotting out of his room with a bath towel slung over his shoulder that Lavi hadn't noticed before. "I'm going for a shower. See you in a bit." He left without another word.

_'He looked so... Gorgeous... I don't know how much longer I can hold back...'_

He removed the bandana taming his wild, fiery red hair and ran his fingers through it while sighing. Not only did he think something completely stupid right after, but acted on it as if it were his life calling. Without a single objection crossing his mind, he leapt onto Allen's bed and buried his face in the fluffy pillow, inhaling deeply. His lower regions instantly twitched to life.

_'It smells just like him..'_

Yet again, he mentally slapped himself across the face for his perverse thoughts but didn't dare move a muscle. Or stop.

_'Rain.. Mint.. Very faint smell of sweat..'_

These smells invaded his nose. He wanted to stay like he was forever, and remain lost in time. Without even thinking, he mindlessly snaked a hand under his otherwise limp body and rubbed the heel of his palm over the clothed erection housed in his pants.

_'If Allen were to come back and see me like this..- It feels too good to move.. But.. He'll hate me if he ever found out!'_

And with that, he shakily rose to his feet and ran to his own room while trying to ignore the slight pain down south.

**(Allen's POV)**

I sighed and placed my hands on the cold, navy tiled wall in front of me with my head hung, warm water running down my tired body. It was getting more difficult to sleep at night. Constant fear of having the same nightmare of Mana kept me tossing and turning, added to the fact that my left eye randomly activated at night, as if searching for an Akuma that were far away. As if telling me that killing the Akuma were a better use of my time over sleeping. My snowy hair stuck to the back of my neck and my forehead. I allowed a small and salty tear to roll down my cheek before blinking and telling myself not to cry.

_'Stay strong for Lenalee and the others, you big baby! You can't have them worrying about you all the time!'_

After what seemed like hours, I turned off the water and grabbed my towel through the curtain, wrapped it tightly around my waist, and slipped out, being greeted by comforting steamy air.

**(Lavi's POV)**

After reaching my room, I fell back onto the bed and allowed my hand to unzip my pants, watching as it removed the needy erection from it's confines. Wanting to end this quickly, I closed my eyes and fantasized.

**_"Allen.." The white-haired boy straddled him and ground his hips with Lavi's. They both moaned, knowing the other wanted more. Without hesitation, Lavi gripped his lover's hips to make him move faster. "Lavi.. Let me taste you.." The younger slowly climbed off of Lavi and pulled said boy's boxers down to his knees, ignoring his own needs as the desire to taste Lavi controlled him. They both were slicked in a light sheen of sweat, hair wild messes, faces flushed pink, breaths heavy with desire, and creamy skin rubbing together. Allen bit his lip and lazily dragged his tongue over the underside of Lavi's impatient and rock hard manhood, the older hissing at the sensation. "Allen... More..~" He moaned, his hot breath cascading over the thick rod of sensitive flesh. His fingers were firm around the base and his lips wrapped around the head, his tongue prodding at the slit and soaking up his precum. "Oh Allen... F-Fuck.." His fingers were locked in his fiery hair, Allen's tongue now busying itself with swirling around the head before he slid his small mouth as far down the shaft as possible, a few inches still left from the large size of the eighteen year old._**

Even though his fantasy had ended, he was satisfied with one last pump of his fist, came into his hand, and screamed in utter bliss, trying not to moan the name of the one he desired, and had just fantasized about.

**(Normal POV)**

Allen was now happy as always, skipping towards the cafeteria, and trying not to focus on the stomach that seemed to be gnawing at his very soul, calling out to him, begging to be filled with Jerry's delicious food. A wide smile was plastered to his face as he entered through the large doors. Various finders and one Exorcist (Kanda, peacefully eating Soba noodles with a scowl as usual) crowded the dining hall. Jerry blushed when he saw Allen approaching. "Hey there, cutie~! What can I cook for you today~?" Said 'cutie' thought a moment, before lighting up and blurting out his order so fast, anybody listening barely heard. Except Jerry of course. Only the words; 'apple', 'pie', 'dango', 'stew', 'beef', and 'rice' were heard. Lavi calmly entered the dining hall and approached Allen as the poor boy struggled to carry the large amount of food he ordered. Lavi caught him before he fell over. "Need some help, shortstack?" "My name is Allen! And yes, please.." He sweatdropped as he kindly took half of what he thought Allen had.

About thirty minutes later, Allen sighed happily, contented as his stomach was full and a mountain of empty plates towered above him. He was snapped out of his heavenly food euphoria by the voice of Lavi suddenly blurting out: "Allen, I love you." He blinked and tugged at his ears, as if he had something clogged in them. "W-What...?" Lavi blushed after realising what he said. "N-Nevermind!" Allen shrugged it off, being the incompetent boy he was, assuming it was Lavi being an idiot again and made a couple of trips back to Jerry, returning the various silverware, bowls, and plates he had used.

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**So. Like it? Did you hate it? DD: It's okay. ;-; I know I'm not the best writer. Anyways, like I said, please review and I'll update! I already have chapter 2 written out for ya. C:**


	2. Chapter 2: Training and a BIG Mistake

**A/N - Heyyyy SoKawaii325 again, here to bring you chapter 2!**

**First: A special thanks and congratulations to hisuiryuu for being my first reviewer! I appreciate that you liked the first chapter, and still gave me a heads-up about the possible typos. I'll be sure to fix those! Anyways, yes I know, this is probably a short chapter, but hey. It's an update. Don't complain.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything except this story, and all rights and content go to their respectful owners.**

_Allen shrugged it off, being the incompetent boy he was, assuming it was Lavi being an idiot again and made a couple trips back to Jerry, returning the various silverware, bowls, and plates he had used._

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~Chapter 2~

"I'm going to see if Kanda wants to train with me. See you later, Lavi!" Allen jogged out of the cafeteria, actually intending to find Kanda, but was distracted by his own train of thought.

_'That was weird... Sure, Lavi **is** an idiot, but that was unusual, even for him. I wonder what he's planning this time...'_

He was no sooner interrupted by a taller body crossing his path. "I suggest you watch where you're going, unless you plan on dying anytime soon, shortstack." "My name is Allen, BaKanda!" 'BaKanda' just rolled his eyes, saying nothing. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to train with me, today. I'm still bent on beating you!" Kanda sighed before waiting a moment to reply. "Fine."

**(The training room)**

Kanda and Allen stood on opposite ends of the room, Crown Clown and Mugen both activated. To both, it seemed like forever until Kanda charged at his opponent as if Mugen were leading him and telling him what to do. The accommodator of Crown Clown quickly dodged and wound up behind him, Clown Belt wrapping around his wrist and freeing Mugen from his grasp, sending it a few feet away from them. "Damn it, shortstack!" "It's Allen." Kanda just gave an annoyed 'che' and made a quick dash for his fallen weapon, only to be pushed by the same belt he had lost the weapon to in the first place and forced to fall on his face. The Sword of Exorcism was now in hand and he calmly walked towards Kanda, who made no attempt to move, even if he were free to do so. Just before the fifteen year old swung the large sword, the Japanese man jumped up and grabbed his precious Mugen, dashing behind the British boy and pressing the blade to his throat. "I'll make note of your name when you've beaten me in battle." Allen sighed in defeat, suddenly feeling too tired and distracted to continue. "Whatever." Both boys deactivated their innocence and the younger of the two walked distractedly into the door he wasn't aware had been closed. For the second time that day, he had fallen on his butt. "Ouch.." Kanda snickered as he watched. "Feeling out of it today, shortstack?" The 'Shortstack' ignored his taunt for once and left.

**(Lavi's POV)**

He wandered the halls aimlessly, with no real destination as he thought to himself. He had said it. He admitted his feelings. Yet at the last second, he backed out again. What was going on with him today? Different scenarios formed in his mind for what seemed like years until he stopped and looked down.

_'I'm acting like a 14-year-old boy whose just found out his sexuality! Damn it, I'm Lavi! This should be a piece of cake! Why can't I just say it?'_

He bashed his head into the wall before heading to his room. He might as well read to get his mind off of Allen, right? Wrong. Once he reached the newfound destination, opened an unfinished history book he was in the middle of, and got comfortable in bed, his thoughts only grew worse. He thought about how Allen's lips would feel against his own. He thought about how he would feel once he did admit, and it turned out Allen felt the same. That made him laugh quietly to himself.

_'There's no way Allen is going to feel the same way. He's probably just going to get nervous and try not to sound harsh when he tells me he doesn't have the time for a relationship. How he probably won't even want one because he likes everyone-Except Kanda-Wait.'_

If he were drinking or eating, he probably would have choked. He thought back to what Allen had said a few minutes ago.

_"I'm going to see if Kanda wants to train with me. See you later, Lavi!"_

Did that mean.. Allen liked Kanda? No way! Now he was starting to think stupid thoughts. But what if it **was** true, and he was just too much of an idiot to see it? Does anyone else know? He threw the book he wasn't even concentrating on and bolted out the door.

_'I need to talk to Lenalee! She'll definitely know for sure!'_

**(Lenalee's POV)**

"Brother? Are you in there?" I knocked lightly on his office door and it creaked open. He was asleep on his desk with a pile of untouched papers next to him, and various other papers scattered about the floor as usual. Upon hearing me, he woke up. "Oh, Lenalee! It's so great to see you!" "I brought you some coffee-" The door was slammed open by a familiar red-head. **"LENALEEEEEEEEE-SAAAAN!"** Nearly dropping the coffee in surprise, I set it on the desk. "What is it, Lavi? What has you so worked up?" At first, I thought I was hearing things. I mean, who wouldn't after hearing: "Are Allen and Yuu-chan dating?" After I registered it wasn't, in fact, a misunderstanding, I looked at my brother and we both burst into a fit of laughter. "L-Lavi!" I could barely breathe. Why would Allen be dating Kanda!? "Wh-What makes you think... Allen and Kanda...!" Thinking about it even more made me laugh harder. Brother was already in a fit of tears on the floor behind his desk.

**(Normal POV)**

Lavi was blushing furiously. So he was mistaken. His own stupidity made him think equally stupid things. "Well... I'm not sure... It just kinda popped in my head, I guess.." The poor girl calmed down enough to speak coherently, but was still giggling and snickering throughout. By this time, Reever and half of the Science division were all gathered in and near Komui's office. "What's going on in here, Chief?" Komui, by this time, was completely serious. "It seems Lavi here assumed Allen and Kanda are DATING!" He began laughing again. Poor Lavi. He didn't understand at all! What was so funny about it!? "I don't see why it's so-!" And now it seemed the laughing was contagious. Everyone that was within ear-shot, except Lavi, broke out into a fit. Letting out a huff of annoyance, the only one who was not laughing, stormed out of the office. He was still completely red in the face, when his one emerald eye locked on to silver and black hair.

_'Oh shit!'_

Kanda and Allen both had raised eyebrows as they cautiously approached the source of the loud noise that echoed throughout the halls of the Order. Allen smiled when he saw his friend. "Oh, Lavi! What's going on here?" "O-Oh.. U-Um I-IT'S NOTHING!" He quickly ran away, leaving Allen and Kanda to both stare in curiosity. "What the hell has the Baka Usagi so worked up and red in the damn face?" The other just shrugged as they shoved past various scientists in the process of dying. (Yes, everyone was still laughing their asses off.) They both were most surprised to see Lenalee in the middle of it all, quite literally, and on the floor in just as big a fit as everyone else. "Lenalee-san, what's going on..?" Her teary eyes opened just a by a crack, which seemed to be a mistake as she crawled away from them, obviously experiencing some pain. (From so much laughing of course.) The first to begin calming down and find it less funny then it was originally unintended to be, wiped a few stray tears from his cheek and adjusted his glasses casually. "It appears Lavi has come to some conclusion of sorts. He asked my dear Lenalee if 'Allen and Yuu-chan were dating'~" Within seconds, both boys mentioned twitched, and became surrounded in what seemed like a fiery sort of 'aura'. "LAAAAAVIIIII!" "USAGI!"

Lavi was currently locked in his room, huddled in a corner. Allen probably hated him now. Yuu-chan most definitely was going to kill him this time. Allen might help a little bit.. But either way, he knew he was going to die.

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**So like. It was short and stuff. It didn't really get poor Lavi any closer to admitting to Allen. It got him further away. Probably. But review anyways! :DD And again, a special thanks to hisuiryuu!**


	3. Chapter 3: A Dream Come True?

**A/N - It's okay. I know what you're thinking. Two updates within a week!? Whaaaaaaat..? No.. You must be imagining things, you silly! I'm sorry. I have no life and got bored. I wanted to write the stuff of smex. So. Here.**

**DISCLAIMER - All content go to their respectful owners. I only take credit for this story.**

_Lavi was currently locked in his room, huddled in a corner. Allen probably hated him now. Yuu-chan most definitely was going to kill him this time. Allen might help a little bit.. But either way, he knew he was going to die._

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Embarrassment of Love

~Chapter 3~

**(Normal POV)**

Allen and Kanda stormed to Lavi's door and began banging on it. The poor wooden structure groaned, as if about to break, (Which Lavi was certain it would) and he would meet his doom. "Lavi you better open this damn door!" "No! You'll kill me!" The white-haired teen sighed and rested his forehead against it, Kanda still completely pissed and about ready to slice the door with Mugen. "Lavi, please. I promise Kanda won't come in with me." He lifted his head and looked at Kanda, pressing a gloved finger to his lips as if planning something. "...You promise?" "I promise." The door slowly opened, the red-head peeking through. In the next instant, Allen had the door shut and locked behind him before Kanda could follow, and this angered the man even further. "Damn it, shortstack! Let me in there before I slice this door to bits!" Allen just placed a hand on Lavi's chest and pressed him into the bed, straddling him and leaning down, their lips connecting. Lavi's eyes were wide as dinner plates and he pulled away. "A-Allen what're you doing..?" He just smiled. "You said my name for once." The red head relaxed a bit and laughed quietly. "I guess I did.. Kiss me again?" Allen nodded and resumed kissing Lavi, his hand gently rubbing his cheek before removing the headband that tamed his head of 'fire'. The fabric was carelessly tossed to the side and forgotten as the younger of the two began removing the scarf as well, which was _also_ thrown to the floor and forgotten. This same process repeated over and over until both boys were completely undressed, and bare in front of the other. (Not counting Lavi's eyepatch and earring)

_'Holy shit, Allen is only 15 and yet he's practically the same size as I am!'_

The room was mostly silent in the following moments, the only thing echoing throughout the space was the sound of the pair kissing, hot tongues rolling over each other and engaging in a battle for dominance. Allen soon won and took initiative. "Lavi..." He was presented with three of Allen's fingers and he looked at them confusedly. "Would you suck on these for me?" "Wh-What!? No way! No way am I letting you top me!" "Well why not?" "Because I'm older! Isn't that the way it works...?" Allen said nothing and just pressed his fingers closer. The oldest of them hesitated before sighing in defeat and opening his mouth, bringing the fingers in and sucking on them. His eye closed and his tongue swiped over each digit. He wasn't aware of the stares he was receiving from Allen, who was being highly aroused by the sight. His cheeks were tinged with a light pink as his steely gray eyes watched the mouth work over his fingers.

_'This is so hot...'_

Deeming the fingers lubricated, he pulled them out of Lavi's warm cavern and lowered them. "Lavi... C-Can you get on your hands and knees, please?" Lavi flashed his infamous lopsided grin and did as he was asked, his ass out in the open, just for Allen. The younger stared for a moment and mindlessly licked his lips before spreading Lavi's cheeks, exposing the puckered hole lying in wait for the fingers. After another moment of staring, the first digit was inserted very slowly. Lavi's eye was tightly shut and his grip tightened on the bedsheets.

_'This is so uncomfortable...!'_

As the finger got deeper and deeper, (Allen was trying his hardest not to hurt Lavi so much) pain began to kick in.

_'It... It hurts!'_

Allen frowned, noticing Lavi's growing discomfort and pain, and used his left hand to grip the shaft of his partner. "I know it feels awful, Lavi... But try and relax..." Lavi gasped, the rough texture of Allen's cursed hand feeling amazing against the sensitive skin. All pain and discomfort were drowned out, and a soft moan escaped the older boy's lips.

_'Oh God... Why didn't I ever fantasize about this hand before...?'_

The second finger being added after a while went unnoticed as he felt himself getting close to his release. _This_ didn't go unnoticed. His twitching shaft was abruptly let go of, and Allen received a disappointed whimper in response. "Allen... I was so close... Why did you- Ah!" All discomfort came back to him, the two fingers sheathed deep within him being spread in an attempt to loosen him up. His whimpers turned to moans as he adjusted, and his hips began to welcome the intrusion by rocking back against them. "Oh Allen..." He'd thought it was over. Allen would remove the fingers, and replace them with what he'd desired for a long time, and it would happen. All on it's own. He wouldn't need to say a word. His actions would say everything for him. He was highly disappointed by another sudden jolt of pain, his train of thought broken by the insertion of the third and final finger. "This is s-so uncomfortable, Allen!" "I know, I'm sorry...! It's almost over.." And just as promised, in a few short moments, it turned to pleasure once again. His needy cock went untouched, and his ass was filled with the fingers of the one he'd grown attached to in ways he shouldn't have. But as soon as the pleasure kicked back in, it was gone. The _fingers_ were gone. Soft creaking resonated through the room, the springs underneath the mattress crying out as the weight of Allen was added with the weight of Lavi. Allen's hands lightly gripped the pale hips of the eighteen-year-old waiting for him, and soon, the stretched hole was filled again. "Lavi... Try and keep quiet." His voice was laced with mischief, and the smirk was practically heard in the words he'd spoken. Before the poor boy even had the chance to ask what he was talking about, the pain he'd felt earlier tripled. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he bit the back of his hand and heard Allen visibly wince.

_'Oh God, I feel like I just broke in two! Fuck it hurts!'_

What exactly did Allen do? He'd completely slammed his full length inside of his lover. Both boys were obviously in pain. Lavi being filled too fast and causing his muscles to clamp down, and the tightness squeezing Allen painfully. It was too tight. _Much_ too tight.

_'Please relax, Lavi...! It hurts!'_

After what seemed like forever, the muscles finally loosened again and the panting of the pair calmed down. The white-haired teen moved his hips a bit, testing the adjustment, and earned a small moan. "Ah..." The movement was kept at a slow pace, the younger wanting to hear the older beg for more. "Allen, please... Move faster...!" The request was complied immediately, and soon enough, the room became filled with loud moaning, the slapping of skin against skin, fabric tearing, (Namely the sheets that were being gripped so tightly) soft sucking, and the bed repeatedly hitting the wall. "Oh Allen..!" "L-Lavi...~!" Allen knew that wouldn't be enough to get them to cum at the same time. No. Not even close. He rotated his hips, and Lavi's head was thrown back as his prostate was hit dead-on. "RIGHT THERE!" The rough textured hand again gripped the shaft of the boy writhing beneath the owner of that hand, and with a few more hard thrusts, and bites of skin, the pair came together, calling out each other's names. **"ALLEN~!"** "Oh Lavi!" They both collapsed, covered in sweat, and panting heavily.

~0~0~0~

A brutal punch was given to his face, and the book that was peacefully laying there went flying across the room. He opened his teary eyes and saw the Old Panda glaring daggers at him. "Wh-What!?" "Lavi! Falling asleep while you should be working is completely unacceptable!" "What the hell are you talking about!? Allen is-" Allen was nowhere. The bed was fine. The sheets were practically untouched, not counting the body of the Bookman Junior who was lying on them. He wasn't sweaty. He didn't feel tired and out of breath. He didn't feel like he'd just had sex. His eyes traveled downward when he noticed the old man staring. He was hard. That was when it hit him. He'd fallen asleep after coming back to his room and grabbing that history book he was right in the middle of! He'd never asked Lenalee if Allen and Yuu-chan were dating! He'd never ran back to his room and huddled himself over fear of his certain death! Allen had never kissed him! And they certainly didn't have sex! He was dreaming the _whole_ time. **"OH SCREW IT! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"** He flipped over and buried his face in his pillow. This was the first time in his life, he'd admitted defeat. He would never tell Allen how he felt, and that was that. Bookman looked at him curiously and cleared his throat. "You've become infatuated with that boy, haven't you?"

~0~0~0~

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**And that's all folks! I know what you're thinking.**

_**'OMG SoKawaii325 sucks so bad at writing yaoi!'**_

**What? You don't? Tell me in a review! Yeah that little box right below that says the word 'review'! In honor of my first story successfully complete and finished, I will accept a request. If you want me to write something for you, click my name and browse through my stories for more details on how you can do that.**


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